When the first sentence has the word Gigli in it, that's a really, really bad sign of things to come. It wasn't but a few days ago that Lindsay Lohan was raving to the media about how she was a serious actress, and she wanted respect for it, and she wants it today.
It looks like she'll have to wait until after Georgia Rule passes through the theaters and out of somebody's bowels, though.
That's partly because it's as epically awful as that notorious 2003 bomb starring the artist formerly known as Bennifer. Primarily, though, it's because Lohan's well-documented off-camera antics are such a distraction, as Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's were, it's impossible to become engrossed in the film.
That's a bit of a cheap shot, if you can't ignore what an actress did during production enough to let you fall into the movie, you either are being unreasonably biased and obtuse. I think her actions on the set were ridiculous and I'd have kicked her off production had it happened more than once, but if you can't let that go when watching the flick in the theater, you've got a personal grudge going and you probably shouldn't be writing movie reviews.
Although she shares the screen with acting heavyweights Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman, Lohan is the one who, for better and worse, grabs our attention. Strutting around a small Idaho town in oversized aviator sunglasses, stylish off-the-shoulder tops, skinny jeans and wedges, her party-girl character Rachel looks, sounds and acts like ... well, like Lindsay Lohan. [...] The massively contrived script comes from Mark Andrus (an Oscar nominee for "As Good As It Gets" who also wrote the treacly "Life As a House" and "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"), which Garry Marshall directs with a surprising lack of tonal focus for such a veteran. "Georgia Rule" is all over the place, veering awkwardly between high physical comedy and dark family drama. Both extremes are cringe-inducing.
Too often it plays like a sitcom about three generations of eccentric women, complete with jaunty little musical interludes as segues between scenes - except that its plot revolves around an allegation of sexual abuse. Good times.
The lesson to be learned here for Lindsay Lohan is to do a better job picking films, because this was obviously going to stink from the outset. The subsequent courses on how to act professional on set and not sharing something in common with your characters when it's something like drug abuse can come later. First, that girl has got to get an agent that can tell the difference between book material, and career shakers.
This review though is pushing things a bit far. There is an audience out there for this type of flick and to assume it turned into a snoozer by accident isn't really fair when the writer has a history of doing this -- I guess -- on purpose.
I suspect this is more of an opportunity for critics to take shots at Lohan. She wants respect but refuses to earn it, and she's going to take her licks for that from the press, and from her co-workers. Fonda was none to pleased with her on-set antics and has been very vocal about it.
The way to clean that up isn't to convince entertainment reporters that you're serious, it's to act serious by keeping your mouth shut and letting your work speak for you.
If Lohan wasn't already rich and living a responsibility free life from her singing, she'd be waiting tables right now begging for casting calls five times a day, or still stuck in film school more likely. There is a key difference to be had here. Singing takes talent and effort and all that, but you're either born with a good voice, or you aren't. Lindsay was which gave her an automatic leg up on everyone else in life.
Acting doesn't come free, and neither does respect. If she can't grow up, then her best days are sadly behind her.
Kevin Costner is deciding the next President in low-profile comedy Swing Vote.
Nancy Grace is moving from CourtTV to CNN Headline News. What?!
Paris Hilton is back in bed (figuratively) with the publicist she fired last weekend, and is appealing her vindictive and cruel 45-day jail sentence.
It looks like 28 Weeks Later is going to be one hell of a ride.
Hollywood's obsession with replacing old failures with new ones continues unabated; a new Street Fighter is in the works and Jessica Biel is up for the role of the female Asian fighter. No, I have a better idea, besides the fact that Biel isn't Asian, she's just all wrong, doesn't have the looks. I think she should take the lead role, and play William F. Guile (formerly played by Jean-Claude Van Damme). She's the perfect man for the job.
Fact: Steven E. de Souza wrote both Street Fighter, and Die Hard (1&2). Sins are henceforth forgiven.
In case you haven't heard, ABC is turning Mr. & Mrs. Smith into a television series (one that cannot be sustained any more than Prison Break could.) TV Squad got a look at the pilot script and give you the lowdown.
A guy who changed his name so he could run for sheriff as "Andy Griffith" (and lost) was sued by the Andy Griffith for using his name (and won.)