Olympic Gold Medalist and Dancing With The Stars finalist Apolo Anton Ohno won the fourth year of ABC's reality/competition show last night. Ohno was partnered with Julianne Hough.
Okay, I've got to admit that I don't watch this show (ever) and I've never heard of either of these people, but they won the competition and the show does extremely well for ABC, and lots and lots of people are searching for the digs on this thing right now so I've collected some thoughts from around the web here for your personal enjoyment, and my personal torment.
Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike reality shows, especially competitions where you don't really win anything? I should do that more often.
Before I get to the wire reports and blog writeups, I'll drop a couple of obligatory links to their Wikipedia bio's: Ohno and Hough. I would hope that Ohno values his Olympic accomplishments far more than this entertainment competition, but you never know. <snark>Being on TV sure is cool.</snark>
After ten weeks, nineteen episodes, and an uncountable number of teases about results coming after the break, it all came down to tonight. As we have come to expect from the finale, ABC pulled out all the stops, bringing back all of the contestants, the pros, and the past champions. Also expected, they allotted an hour more airtime than they really needed, which led to a night that was heavy with pre-taped packages. [...]
All things considered, it was another very good season of the show, and I think the voters got it right in the end. I'd give the season as a whole a 6, because I think they have the formula working just right at this point. This episode in particular though, suffered from far too many filler segments. It would have been a great hour of television, but was just a good two hours. So I am giving this final episode a 5, out of 7.
They can't possibly have the formula locked in yet because it's still on the air, am I right?
No? Damn you people.
I don't generally care for the content from TV Squad because most of it's fluff that looks designed as an excuse to get the posting fee Weblogs Inc. pays people, yet this one was pretty good, and it saved me from having to watch the show so maybe I should toss a few bucks into the pool, whatddya think?
There's three wire pieces out there, each from E! Online, the AP, and Reuters. I'll go with E!'s first since it'll be the least hackish.
"I feel amazing," said Ohno, who also happened to be celebrating his 25th birthday today. "Like I said from day one, everybody here is a champion…The lessons to be learned from this competition are amazing—if you put your mind to something and give it 100 percent, you give sacrifice and dedication, anything is possible."
Boring, can I have a serving of dirt please?
Ohno's rumba left something to be desired for Carrie Ann Inaba, who said that he "over-performed it just a hair," and Len Goodman, who said that it "lacked any romance...That was too fast, too hectic."
Goodman's opinion was too much for Bruno Tonioli to bear, though, because he immediately was in the Brit's face, protesting that Ohno and Hough "made love on the dance floor!" and "could have conceived a baby" out there.
Wow, maybe I should have been watching after all. Isn't Hough like 18? No wonder the series is such a hit, I had no idea ABC was all about the dancing porn. Now, please cue the disgruntled losers..
The fiercely competitive Laila Ali, who was voted off during the first half of tonight's two-hour finale (one last dance for each finalist, interviews with past winners, lots of montages, etc.), admitted that she was bummed not to have finished first but that anyone who did win would deserve it.
"Of course, I'm pissed," the boxing champ and daughter of sports icon Muhammad Ali said good-naturedly. "I mean, come on!"
What the hell were those judges thinking?! Maybe they could see better if Laila ripped their heads off and kicked them around the dance floor. I'd pay to see that, by the way.
Reuters clearly didn't put any effort into their writeup, so they don't get any page space from me. This blog is a hot ticket, I can't just be giving it away, you know? These posts take all of an hour to do and I'm just rolling in the pennies I get from advertising. They ought to be honored I even spoke their name on these hallow grounds.
The AP on the other hand, hackish fiends that they are, get some action by painting Ohno as the pure-and-innocent-as-snow all around good guy that he is. What a hero. What a champ. What a manly man..ice skater...guy.
"I feel amazing," said Ohno, whose athleticism shone through. "If you put your mind to something, you give 100 percent ... anything is possible."
Ohno, 25, a two-time gold medalist in the Winter Olympics, and Hough were in the lead after being awarded 88 points by the show's three judges in the two-night final, which put them two points ahead of Fatone, 30, and Johnson and three points ahead of Ali, 29, and Chmerkovsky.
But it was a public telephone vote that sealed their victory and sent Ohno home with the mirrored disco-ball trophy.
Awesome, I hope I get to take home a mirrored disco-ball trophy some day. If I work really hard, say my prayers and eat my Cheerios, maybe...just maybe...I'll be an ice skater/reality show guy that gets to grind up against hot 18-year-old girls on national TV. Man, that must be some hard work, eh?
Now for America Idol, or as I like to call it, that f***ing show that makes my DVR routinely miss the end of House...