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'Hostel 2' Being Pirated Already

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Everyone jumped on the chance to report that Spider-Man 3 was being sold on the streets of China two weeks before it hit theaters worldwide, and we were all wrong. Those came directly from the Associated Press which is increasingly becoming a home for shills and hacks, and it turns out they were completely wrong. Some enterprising pirate (minus the eye patch) had taken SM3 art off the Internet and made a DVD booklet out of it with random junk on the DVD inside.

Turns out fact checking isn't a requisite skill over at the AP these days.

Now though, I'm hearing that Hostel 2 is being passed around, a copy of a studio cut. The difference between this report and the last one is that this one is coming from the person who actually bought the disk (congratulations, you committed a willful act of copyright infringement in the name of blogging.)
While looking for a pair of cheap sunglasses and a velour leisure suit down in Santee Alley, I ran across a man in the middle of the street selling a pile of Hostel: Part II DVDs.

I asked him how it was already on bootleg, and we got in a small argument about the film's release date. After a fifteen-minute squabble, I purchased the disc for five dollars. The back of the case had the description for the first Hostel film. I thought I might have been hornswoggled.

Upon home inspection of the DVD, all I can say is that S. Mooridian is going to be in a lot of trouble. His name is watermarked on the print.

I'm sorry to say that I don't have the first clue who the hell "S. Mooridian" is, nor has my brief search brought up anything of value. I suppose it's someone who works for Lionsgate, the studio behind the film, albeit someone who won't be working there very much longer.

I for one will not be seeing this movie, ever. The first one was sick and had no real plot to speak of, it was just like a porn movie except they exchanged the nudity and sex for torture and killing. This stuff really is screwed up, and whoever makes this crap needs to get some help. Seriously, real psychological help.

But who am I to argue with success, it made enough money for a sequel, didn't it?

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The text of this article is Copyright © 2006,2007 Paul William Tenny. All rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Attribution by: full name and original URL. Comments are copyrighted by their authors and are not subject to the Creative Commons license of the article itself.