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Pat Robertson Says We're Doomed, I think He's F**cking Crazy

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Most people don't flinch when crazy words come out of Pat Robertson's mouth, but now we've finally got something to nail the hateful bastard down with: a prediction of destruction in the coming year. If God only speaks to nut jobs like this, then people, we are in some serious trouble. America's favorite religious extremist has been channeling the all mighty, and saw fit to warn us of the coming death and gloom he so badly wants us to suffer through for tolerating gays, cheese burgers, and American Idol.

In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson said Tuesday God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in "mass killing" late in 2007. "I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," he said during his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Maybe Pat needs to invest in a more expensive antenna with the way these predictions are coming in all distorted. Maybe that or he's only 98% insane and 2% ambiguous. Whatever, this just adds to the list of dumb shit coming out of this guys mouth. Shall we review?

  • 1991: "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist."
  • Robertson prayed to God to steer hurricanes away from his companies' Virginia Beach, Virginia, headquarters. He took credit for steering the course in 1985 of Hurricane Gloria, which caused billions of dollars of destruction in many states along the U.S. east coast. He made a similar claim about another destructive storm, Hurricane Felix, in 1995.
  • Robertson has described feminism as a "socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
  • He agreed with Falwell when Falwell stated[18] that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were caused by "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People for the American Way." (Even President Bush denounced this, and that's really saying something.)
  • Robertson repeatedly supported former President of Liberia Charles Taylor in various episodes of his 700 Club program during the United States' involvement in the Liberian Civil War in June and July of 2003. Robertson accuses the U.S. State Department of giving President Bush bad advice in supporting Taylor's ouster as president, and of trying "as hard as they can to destabilize Liberia."

    Robertson was criticized for failing to mention in his broadcasts his $8,000,000 (USD) investment in a Liberian gold mine.[22] Taylor had been indicted by the United Nations for war crimes at the time of Robertson's support.
  • In interviews with the author of a book critical of the United States Department of State, Robertson made suggestions that the explosion of a nuclear weapon at State Department Headquarters would be good for the country, and repeated those comments on the air.
  • 2005: "I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it." (Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, who supports torturing POW's, denounced this statement.
  • In May 2006, Robertson declared that storms and possibly a tsunami would hit America's coastline sometime in 2006. Robertson supposedly received this revelation from God during an annual personal prayer retreat in January. The claim was repeated four times on The 700 Club. (No Tsunami or significant storms struck the United States in 2006.)

One thing that Robertson actually got right for a change was that "God also told him that the U.S. only feigns friendship with Israel and that U.S. policies are pushing Israel toward 'national suicide.'" Of course I don't need God to tell me the stupidly obvious, and I suspect our reasons behind such conclusions are starkly different. The U.S. talks about peace but supports acts of war and terror like the slaughtering civilians in Lebanon.

Why don't we stop allowing this guy to degrade mentally and get him the help he needs in a mental institution? Here's my prediction for 2007: Robertson, a religious fanatic, will realize that nothing is going to happen when December 2007 rolls around and when faced with the contradictions in his mind, is forced to commit the act of terrorism himself.

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The text of this article is Copyright © 2006,2007 Paul William Tenny. All rights reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Attribution by: full name and original URL. Comments are copyrighted by their authors and are not subject to the Creative Commons license of the article itself.